Accepting the Ebb and Flow of Life

Life ebbs and flows. Its direction and relationships come in and out of focus. 

We can't forget its rhythm and give up too soon. Events teach us to trust its inevitable cycle.

Oneness with our Creator, and our innate wholeness – they’re a constant on the horizon. Wisdom and progress come from how we work through the times when oneness feels like a far away shoreline.

Every year at this time, we're asked to make ‘resolutions’, which often feel like promises artificially imposed by the turn in the calendar. 

The arrival of a new year is inevitable. But it doesn’t guarantee a fresh start. We have to be patient and buoyant amongst the tides that bring lasting wisdom. They ebb and flow in their own time and way.

I walked the beach solo our last morning on the Sea of Cortez this October. I hunted for unique rocks, as I always do, and floated in the crystal water, my face turned to the warmth of the sun. It had been a beautiful trip.  

Watching the waves lap the shoreline again and again, in their own gentle, certain pattern, I felt close to God. I knew that Her hand had been our guide. 

It was such a clear moment of flow.

Just a few weeks later, I sat on the floor in our Airstream, tired and scared, feeling so far from that clear certainty. 

Do you know how it feels when someone you love has given up hope, when they feel they’re done with life? That’s where my husband and I were…and we didn’t have much in us to continue treading water.

We had reached the end of an ebb that had been receding for months. Much of our 18 months on the road had felt uncertain, and we reached a critical moment when we knew we needed a change. We were ready to establish an orderly and grounded space and have time to move important projects forward.

I focused on the lessons from the past years to steady and lift me. The power of gratitude and expectation…I could feel them. Trust unfoldment…a bright new knowing anchored within. The proof that we’d always had what we needed, and the tides of ebb and flow that we’d learned to ride together over 34 years of marriage…a promise.

Ebb turned to flow.

Within two weeks, we witnessed again the proof of trusting unfoldment, of placing our hands in Hers and letting go of working so hard to figure out how to make it all work, and doubting ourselves in the process. 

We found ourselves in escrow on a sweet little bungalow sheltered by big oak trees on a quiet street. The house had been waiting for us.

It felt like we’d finally reached a peaceful tide pool with time to explore.

In her book, Gift from the Sea, Anne Morrow Lindbergh observes, 

“We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb.”  

She continues, 

“The sea does not reward those who are too anxious, too greedy, or too impatient. To dig for treasures shows not only impatience and greed, but lack of faith. Patience, patience, patience, is what the sea teaches. Patience and faith. One should lie empty, open, choiceless as a beach—waiting for a gift from the sea.”

I am ready to trust the ebb, to lie open and loose, letting go of when, where or how life must show up. I am ready to know that the beach is always there, even if I can’t see it when I float way out to sea. 

The horizon is fixed, and I am keeping my eye on it. 

The gifts that come with staying flexible and trusting amidst changing tides are the lessons that we “write in our hearts.” They aren’t moments of fleeting understanding. They are lasting knowings that both anchor and buoy, always a state of equilibrium from which we live with grace.

This year, in the week between Christmas and New Year’s Eve, I’m going to save a day for myself to make the following lists in my journal:

• 7 things that I’m proud of myself for 
• 7 things I forgive myself for
• 7 things I commit to myself

These rely on no one else. They are between me and my Divine, my fixed horizon. I will give myself grace.

I want to fully welcome and honor gifts from the ebbing times that carry me into the flow. Ebb and flow play together in a pattern that brings growth and progress, direction and purpose, enduring clarity and joy. 

As Lindbergh shared, “I would like to achieve a state of inner spiritual grace from which I could function and give as I was meant to in the eye of God.”

This grace is timeless; adaptable, yet fixed; operating as a constant throughout the year. It's found not just as the calendar turns. It is a repeating promise that doesn’t fail.