Leading with Grace

We lost an icon this week who deserves our reflection. Queen Elizabeth II gave us an example of a rare woman who not only served on the world stage, but who showed us how to lead with grace. 

I honor this woman behind the British monarchy – one of uncompromising clarity and strength, dignity and courage, who defied fickle pop culture and proved the timeless potency of the feminine mind.

In my work with teen girls over the years, I’ve always encouraged them to advocate for themselves, to value and claim their voice, and most of all, to consider HOW they use it. 

Does strength come from strident, angry posturing, or intuitive, wise positioning and the kind of warmth that makes others want to hear and collaborate with us?

In her over 70 year rule, Queen Elizabeth straddled centuries and wars, the volatile ebb and flow of political associates, and a dramatically-changing culture. Through it all, she remained a monarch beloved by her country and the world, and dedicated to her family’s calling. She loved one man, bore four children into a rare sense of duty, and shepherded them all through very public ups and downs, never wavering in her own sense of principle.

To think that Elizabeth wasn’t in the expected line of succession and was called as a young wife and mother to lead her country, makes her duty seem an ultimate sacrifice. As she grew into her role, she had to find the strength of character to carry the royal veneer while always in the public eye.

I never saw what went on behind closed doors at Buckingham Palace. The sensational press and movies about the royals certainly leave their own impressions. Enduring a lifetime of scrutiny takes grace, and a thick skin that doesn’t allow others’ half-informed opinions to penetrate!

I suspect that Elizabeth saw her personal sacrifice for the rare opportunity it was, her specific calling. I imagine she reconciled herself to it and humbly listened and watched for HOW to reign well. 

Elizabeth’s strength and fulfillment seemed to be grounded in her centered equilibrium. She showed calm under pressure, and a mature ability to collaborate with a diverse group of fifteen prime ministers, from Winston Churchill to newly-elected Liz Truss. Her people trusted her, and she offered hope. 

How did she nurture relationships, negotiate with intelligent instinct, and build consensus when others saw only division? How was she revered by her people while some questioned the validity of the monarchy? 

WHO she was, and HOW she reigned, showed her grace.

To my core, I believe that women need to give ourselves permission to care for ourselves – to allow time and space to reflect, renew, and restore. Too often, we accept that it’s part of our position in life, to put our own well-being after others’, to sacrifice a feeling of thriving and freedom for the greater good.

In caring for ourselves, we’re stronger for others. And we’re more fulfilled and aligned with our Source. We’re more tuned in, honest, and genuine about who we are and what we bring to our world.

Somehow, the queen found balance. I love the smile that peeked from behind her proper veneer, especially later in life. She had a sense of humor – a sure sign of lightheartedness. I love that what she loved most was to be in the Scottish countryside with her corgis and horses. She was there when she passed this week, surrounded by her family. Despite her rarified circumstances, she was a woman first.

Though Queen Elizabeth II traveled the world, met with world leaders, and fulfilled her duty, home was her favorite spot. I believe that she was genuine and balanced, and others saw it.

Our world needs more of the enduring, grounded qualities that Elizabeth shared with us. They calm and unify. It’s our turn to carry on with a timeless equanimity that rides over the waves of world storms.