Permission to Care For Yourself

Sometimes, we just need to give ourselves permission to care for ourselves. By renewing our own fullness and finding clarity and peace, our care for others becomes more inspired and genuine. 

We are worthy of that care, too. That, in itself, is reason enough!

We don’t have to wait for our bodies to take a “time out,” or for the week between Christmas and New Year’s, when everything shuts down, to close our eyes and smile.

I know it stretches some of us to admit that it’s OK to be good to ourselves. Somewhere, we’ve heard that taking time for ourselves is selfish, that part of being a woman is self-sacrifice. 

This past week, I found myself in conversations with a number of you who’ve embraced going on an Honest Heart retreat. The topic of permission surfaced again and again. It’s like a new light has turned on in our community!

Who doesn’t connect with that most relatable of biblical women, Martha, who yearns to be like her sister Mary sitting attentively at the feet of Christ? How many times have I said, “I just need some Mary time!” And yet, in being busy caring for everyone else, I fall back into the familiarity of tasks and the comfort of others’ acceptance.

We spend much of our lives giving others the permissions we should also give ourselves. From a treat out of the cookie jar after a rough day at school, to a day off of work after a big project is finished, we take care of our own. 

How often do we give ourselves grace – patience, forgiveness, compassion, or permission?

Do we take time to reflect on and allow ourselves to feel the presence of Good that heals and restores, and rest in it? Do we accept that who we are, and what we have to share with others, is worthy of being its fullest and strongest expression?

Do we recognize when we put positivity and smiles on overdrive in order to simply survive? Good intentions can seem insincere when they don’t come from a full, honest heart.

Someone I loved once accused me of being insincere. It struck me to the core. It was the last thing I wanted anyone to think about me, or experience from me! I then began to recognize that I’d been hiding my misery behind smiles in order to make others feel good. Could the energy I’d been putting out – despite the soothing words I’d used – tell its own story? I’d been so focused on caring for others that I’d neglected myself. Thing is, it didn’t matter why I was miserable. But, without even realizing it, I’d allowed the misery to diminish my positive impact.

We are worth so much more than that. And what we have to give to others – all the lessons of our stories – is what they need. Giving ourselves permission to care for ourselves is actually the most gracious, unselfish thing we can do for others. Not to mention, SO much more freeing and fun for ourselves!

 I invite you to take a moment to embrace your fullness and rest in how good and right it feels.