The Camino Way

Since walking the Camino de Santiago, I’ve found myself still looking for its familiar waymarks – traditional scalloped white shells hung on pilgrims’ backpacks, bright yellow arrows giving direction, and my set of trusty walking poles parked in the corner of my cozy hotel room each evening.

It’s the faces of the thirteen beautiful women with whom I shared the Camino journey that I see first, though. My conversations with them are at the heart of my experience.

Along the way, we became true sisters. As we walked, we held space for each other, sharing our individual stories, and listening. Time was our treasure, and it allowed us to dive deeper than we usually do in our daily lives. We had so much in common to celebrate!

The inspiration, comments, and photos that we continue to share on WhatsApp are a sweet presence in my new everyday life.

For us, the magic of connection expanded as we met other women from around the world. “We heard about your group,” they’d say. “Tell us more about Honest Heart Journeys.” 

After we reached our destination at the cathedral in Santiago de Compostela, we kept running into women who’d been woven throughout our experience – not just coincidence, I believe, but proof of how the Camino includes and unites. 

The outer journey was rich and beautiful. We walked in contemplation, with breathtaking views of the verdant Galatian countryside checkered by stands of trees, fields of heather, and pastures dotted with chestnut-colored cows below.

The inner journey was dynamic.

My personal goal for the Camino was to be present, aware, and satisfied in each moment, to keep my mental space uncluttered and to notice the kinds of details around me that I often so easily miss. I wanted to FEEL the Camino so I can share its spirit with others.

I also tucked away any technology into my backpack and trusted the signage to show me where to go.

Other women in our group came wanting clarity around next life steps, or an important relationship that was changing. 

Some yearned to drop the masks we wear in our daily relationships and to just be themselves. 

One mother with young children joyously called her Camino “a date with myself.”

Whatever our reasons for being there, having others with whom to walk and share meals gave us a precious sense of community. 

We each then set our own pace and carved out our own solo or exploration time. 

I loved starting my days with a quiet walk alone as the sun rose, then stopping at a trailside cafe for a mid-morning cafe con leche. There was such joyous energy in those moments roadside as pilgrims greeted each other and compared stories, and occasionally even broke into song!

We used Byron Katie’s book, “I Need Your Love – Is That True?” as the waymark for our inner journeys. Building on our workshops prior to the trip, we sometimes used our time walking to practice what we were learning.

Many of us have said, “It’s impossible to separate The Way from The Work. They go hand in hand.”

Doing The Work of Byron Katie forged immediate deep ties. As we learned the inquiry process, we realized that we share so many of the same emotions and beliefs in life – just different circumstances.

It was a huge release to realize that we're not that different from one another. Too often, we allow what we think others think of us, and the need for their approval, to dictate our feelings and actions.

Unplugged from everyday lives and responsibilities, we were also prompted to take time to listen to ourselves, to tune into our own desires – something we rarely do within busy lives when we’re so often caring for others.

Did we want to walk alone, or take a break? Did we want to follow up with another pilgrim we met along the way? Did we want to tell our roommate that yes, the light was too bright? All was fair, and we learned to use what Katie calls the "honest no.”

It made some of us squirm at first to say ‘no’ without needing to justify or explain ourselves. Breaking through hesitation to disappoint another while sacrificing our true desires was the biggest step. But as it became more familiar, it freed us. It was honest. There was no room for hidden resentments. As we got used to being clear about our intentions, we found softer ways of communicating them. I think many of us were grateful to practice this new habit within such an understanding group!

Another concept that continued to resurface between us was the question, “Is it MY business, THEIR business, or GOD’S business?” It’s a simple test that helps us recognize when we put conditions, assumptions, or judgments on others around something that is really none of our business. It’s theirs’...or God’s. Not ours!

I’ve recognized that my business is to love what is. Each moment. Each person. Myself. Now I’m learning to question the truth of the thoughts that can worry, distract, or stop me.

I can be clear about whose business it is, and I find freedom in deflating the beliefs that limit me.

Tucked with the shells that she gave each of us to tie onto our backpacks, one of our sisters included the following waymark:

Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world.
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.
― Rumi

One afternoon, as I left a bustling roadside cafe where we'd had a delicious lunch and reconnected with a precious couple we'd met, I stopped at its entrance and surveyed the scene. Tears welled up as I felt such all-encompassing love for everyone and everything around me. I'd noticed every detail - every smile and hug, every joyous exchange, every simple moment of completeness.I felt no hindering questions or doubts, just pure humanity within Divine presence. Something was shifting inside, and it was wonderful and freeing!